MVWD was set up via a friend. I had just gotten out of a verbally abusive relationship and had little to no self-esteem as a result. He was her friend on Facebook and after noticing pictures of me on her page he told her he thought I was beautiful and asked her to put in a good word. I am a bigger girl and I understand that we aren’t everyone’s “cup of tea.” I know physical attraction is very important, so I made full disclosure on my appearance before we agreed to meet. I told him I was plus sized and he saw full body photos (not just flattering angles) on my Facebook, but he reacted favorably, so I was excited to finally meet a guy that genuinely found me attractive.
For the afternoon date at a coffee shop, I dressed nicely but simply, arrived early and sat nervously at a table awaiting my date’s arrival. He arrived promptly on time and was just as gorgeous as his pictures. We exchanged greetings and chatted a bit about music, movies and books. We seemed to be meshing well intellectually and after an hour or so passed I was feeling a little hungry. I told him I was going to grab a bagel and offered to get him something as well, but he declined. When I got back to the table, he seemed a bit disturbed. Our easy banter of a few minutes ago was gone, and I awkwardly tried to resuscitate the conversation to no avail. Finally I asked him if something was wrong.
I sat in complete disbelief as he told me how much he liked working out and being healthy and that he didn’t think he could be with someone that didn’t “respect herself enough to take care of her body.” He made it clear that he wasn’t attracted to women of my “size.” I was understandably confused (and fighting back tears) and asked him why he chose to meet me in public if that were the case, when he could have easily told me in a message. He replied that while he wasn’t interested in dating me, he was trying to start a personal training business. He thought I could be a customer and maybe after “tightening up a little” we could see what happened between us! I simply got up and walked out to my car and cried the whole way home. He kept texting for a while asking when I wanted to go “train,” but I never replied and he eventually stopped. I didn’t date for a year after that.
What a jackass.
